Sunday, January 29, 2017

Will Monday ever come?

I'd been dreading going back to Omaha for 2 weeks but with the new chemo pill Dr. Lunning is going to try can only be given under their supervision. My legs have been getting steadily worse, not pain but such weakness that I shuffle around the house like an old, old person and that is exhausting. Home health care comes out and today I even got an hour of cleaning but it's so hard to have to have the help, I started to cry when Sandy came but she said it's easier if you just accept it. Yeah, right, that didn't really help.

Bruce had to go get groceries, I made him a detailed list and he only had to call 3 times to clarify what I wanted! He is being incredibly patient when I'm sometimes pretty bitchy and impatient.

I'm owing him big time!

Besides the home health aide, a nurse comes and a PT, she brought we some excercises to try to keep what strength I still have. I try to get out of bed at least everyhour and shuffle around and Friday I could tell I was better as did she. Kim called and wanted to come after work, we'd had Wonder roast chicken for dinner from Fareway so we made chicken quesidas out of leftovers, then commendered the big TV from Bruce and watched Hallmark. Jeff is working the whole weekend so she brought dinner on Saturday and we watched a good movie, a stupid movie, some BB with Bruce and finally moved into the kitchen and back to Hallmark. I told her she should just spend the night, the daybed was empty but she decided she better go back to her house. She also brought a cane that is a big benefit and freedom from the walker. It really helped pass the time, don't I have just the best friends??? (Becky was off to a trip to the grandkids in KS.)

I'm sitting in my bed looking out at the beautiful sunny day and wondering how this week will go. It would truly be an answer to prayers if I could handle this and be back home in a few days, prepare for the worst and pray for the best. With the calves gone Bruce will have more freedom to be down there and this week is supposed to be nice weather so that is enccouraging, I can hardly believe it is the end of January, the month has gone by in a blur, how I have deteriorated.

Another problem I have with Omaha is that I have nightmares down there, ever since I reacted to the ICE chemo that kept me up about 48 hours, it was like a groovy trip on LSD man! Maybe it won't bother me but it still won't be like home sweet home.

I'll try to keep up but you all know the problems I have with their WIFI getting out, I can always receive email on my phone if not the tablet. I have plenty of books loaded and I'm sure I will be busy with PT and a pain specialist. Bruce reads from niece Chris' book of devotions each morning and it keeps us grounded, knowing that we are not in this alone. It helps to be reminded we are not the only ones suffering in this world and this too shall pass, somehow, with the help of all the dedicated medical personal down there. They will keep fighting as long as we will. I know we are in the best place.

Over and out for now, love to you all.


  1. Praying for you that this week goes as well as it can possibly go! You are both always in my thoughts and prayers. So thankful that friends and family there are able to lift your spirits and help time go by faster. Much love to you and Brucie.

  2. "Jesus calling" is a wonderful devotional - Almost always I feel as if it was written specifically for me. We admire your fighting spirit Julie, and continue to pray for strength and healing for you, every day. Wishing you the best possible stay coming up! Love, Janet and Gerald

  3. Aw you are reading "Jesus Calling"?? I have wanted to purchase that-- a good friend of mine read it as she went through her rectal cancer treatments and it helped her so much! Everyday is a brand new day. Try to see if you can take 3 extra steps today than yesterday. ... slow and steady and know we are encouraging you every day from afar!!!