Saturday, January 14, 2017

A big fat roadblock with aa the pile of rocks!

This was supposed to be it, my body grudging gave up the stemcells needed to proceed at much cost to my health. The aches,  pains, and nausea were brought under control but I developed an increasingly weakness in my right leg that made it hard to get around so finally succumbed to using a wheelchair at the hospital. Becky put in lots of legwork pushing me around but I still had to be her GPS to stay oncourse.

We were so close, in the room with Stacy and Dr Lunning running through the final consent forms when he noticed the weakness that was not there before. Red flags were thrown, hurried consultations were held with his team and was determined I wasn't leaving the hospital if I had to grab his ankles and be drug down the hall.

They decided to admit me and I had a full afternoon of tests, MRI of lower back, a neurological exam of right leg and foot, a spinal tap that was nearly painless, I only sucked in my breath once and an excruciating painful test where she shocked the crap out of my right leg then seemed disappointed I chose not to do the left which doesn't bother me. I have a whole new respect for the cattle prod that we have to resort to at times.

Bruce was staying the night so was here when Mark, the PA came in with the bad news that the lymphoma was already gaining a foothold. There were cells in the spinal fluid, that is what is attacking the nerves in my legs causing the weakness and the MRI showed a mass on my kidney or liver, I Don't remember for sure.

You would think by now we would not be surprised but the emotions run the same path, stunned, tears and where do we go from here? It was a restless night and we found out 2 adults can sleep in a hospital bed, Bruce slipped out in the early morning to go home for chores and be back to stay tonight.

This morning I got a marathon MRI, total spine and head that lasted 1 1/2 hours, I spent most of it trying to stay calm and having a lot of talks to God. They weren't "Why me?" not when I see a little girl on this floor buzzing around on her tricycle and the little blond boy pulled through the hall on the way to the MRI in a wagon hooked up to port with an IV pole, sucking a pacifier and waving to everyone. 

The ride down this morning was an adventure, my driver was an aspiring race car driver who took blind corners on the inside at high speed nearly taking out a laundry cart and a tray of IV bags, I should have insisted on a seatbelt.

The same Dr that I had at Thkg is here this weekend also and was in to say he is in touch with Dr Lunning and they have a new plan. I'm getting a big bag of another chemo today, it goes to the brain and down my spinal cord blasting away at the little bastards trying to make a coup. I will be here for a few days and then back home, another PET scan on Monday, I'm really detesting them. Getting lots of meds to counter bad effects and, bless her heart, Rosanne sent chicken and noodles with Bruce. We will know how well it is working if the numbness gets better.

The WiFi still sucks and can't get on with my tablet so typed this entire post on my phone -Aaauughh! I've been so afraid I'm going to hit a button and wipe it all out! If that happens I might have to hurl it against the wall or at least threaten to.

I so appreciate the emails of encouragement even though I don't answer many. This blog is my link to all of you and its good for me.

Love to all.1


  1. Thanks for posting this, Julie. This new roadblock just sucks. I feel like I can speak for many , hang in there! We love you and are with you in spirit and sending strength along with positive thoughts!

  2. Julie you are now, more than ever, in our prayers. You have gone through so much but always make it through--- as they come up with the "new plan" you know firsthand that you can and will plow your way through this-- you are tough, determined & most of all-- have a super strong positiveness through it all. We are all pulling for you and praying as hard as we can for you and Bruce to get ready to hurdle this most recent hurdle. Stay strong, believe and keep doing the "visionary" as the bag of new tricks heads through your system that your body is using that to fight this cancer and kicking its ass!!!! We love you!

  3. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your pain with us; it makes me feel almost like I was there. And I agree with Jean; this just sucks! It is almost beyond belief how the little bastards keep creeping up on you. The only positive is that the chemo does knock them down, so if we can just get everything lined up ONE TIME, everything can still work. We are so sorry this is so discouraging, and we would do anything to change it if we could. Like Jean says, just hang in there and keep trying, you have been such a good fighter, and we know you can do this Julie! Praying for you both for strength and healing, we know God is in charge here. Love, Gerald and Janet